


My Light

by Vendetta1897



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Self-Harm, case flashback, chloe is worried, luci is angry, my poor little devil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-14
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 06:45:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12359829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vendetta1897/pseuds/Vendetta1897
Summary: After closing a particularly harrowing case which affects Lucifer on a personal level, Chloe drives by Lux to see how he's holding up. What she stumbles upon however, is not quite what she expected...





	My Light

**Author's Note:**

> Had been toying with this idea since the first episode of the new season and I eventually got round to writing it. I think it would fit probably at some point after the first episode but just before the second. Warning to all readers in advance though, there is self-harm in this fic, you don't see it taking place but you definitely get an eyeful of the aftermath.

With a drawn-out sigh Detective Chloe Decker took the key from the ignition and stepped out of her cruiser. Steeling herself for one last moment as she looked up at the building that housed Lux and her partners luxurious penthouse twenty floors above. She firmly closed the drivers side door and strode over to the entrance.

She’d been coming to Lux often enough over the last few years that all the bouncers and staff knew her on sight. So, with a whispered, ‘Thanks, Jerry.’ She slipped passed the growing crowd and into the club.

The party was in full swing as usual, scantily clad men and women writhing and grinding together on the dance floor as the music pounded from the speakers. Waiters and waitresses weaving their way in amongst the throng, trays of drinks held high. But as she scanned the crowd she saw no sign of the enigmatic club owner. 

Chloe sighed in resignation as she thought back on the last couple of days. True, it had been quite the difficult case they’d just closed; an abusive father who had one night taken it all too far and murdered his own son. A young boy of just fifteen, his short life over before it had really began. It resonated with all of the officers working the case, the death of a minor always did, but for Lucifer, it truly struck home, and hard. From the little she could glean of his family life, through all the metaphors of heaven and hell, God and the Devil, she knew it hadn’t been a cake walk. Knew his mother had neglected him and his father had been abusive, both verbally and physically if the long crescent scars adorning his back were anything to go on.

Even Dan had been walking on eggshells around the civilian consultant, hesitating to speak lest it drew an untoward reaction from him. They had all either borne witness to Lucifer’s ire or heard talk of it at one point or another, and no one wanted to be the one to poke the sleeping bear. Lucifer’s quiet fury was unnerving everyone. But it wasn’t long before the BOLO panned out; they had struck gold. The chase after the father hadn’t lasted long, not with Lucifer on his heels. Chloe had rounded a corner in the alley they had disappeared down moments before, only to see the suspect pressed up against the brickwork at the dead end, curled into a foetal position whimpering as Lucifer towered above. Chloe had approached with caution, slipping her glock back into the holster. Lucifer had flinched when her hand came to rest on his arm before bowing his head and stepping aside. It hadn’t taken long to read the man his rights, ferry him to the station, then pass him along for processing and lead him away to lock up. After which Lucifer had fled the station. Disappearing into the night like a wreath of smoke; ephemeral, intangible.

Chloe tightened her grip on the wrought iron railing of the balcony before pushing off, arrowing towards the private elevator. After the doors slid shut behind her she wracked her brain for something, anything to say upon reaching her friend. But, just like it had been the entire drive over, her mind was unhelpfully blank; comfortably numb. She hadn't really thought before driving straight over from the station, just made sure that Dan could take care of Trixie until Maze came back from her latest hunt, and then took off. As the elevator car drew closer to the top floor she braced herself. She had no idea what she was going to encounter up there, Lucifer was anything if unpredictable. Especially if he took something to heart. And no matter his many facade's or his near constant diversions or neat little side steps, she knew him well enough now to see, to feel when something was bothering him.

Once the car bounced to a stop the doors quietly slid open with a ping. Hesitant steps took her from the elevator to the open plan living room only to find it empty. There were signs of him being there though; the fall board on the piano propped up, keys ready and waiting to fill the spacious room with tremulous notes and an empty tumbler set on the bar top next to an open decanter of top shelf whisky. He was always very particular about his drinks, whisky connoisseur that he was, he never just left it out and open.

Taking a slight breath Chloe called out for the elusive club owner and after waiting for several seconds to slip by she made her way deeper into the devil's abode. Upon checking the study, library, kitchen and eventually his bedroom only to come up empty handed she paused to think on where he could be. There were many rooms left to check, the penthouse was nothing if not expansive after all. While she stood silently, a low sound wafted its way down the hall, startling her from her reverie. She held her breath, becoming as silent as she was still, and strained her ears. There it was again, emanating from down the hallway that led past her partner's extensive collection of books. 

She followed the soft noises, padding silently down the wood panelled hall, pausing at every creak from the floorboards, until finally she stopped outside one of the rooms, the door pushed to. Trying to steady her fluttering nerves and pounding heart, she leaned toward the gap, brows furrowed as she listened intently. 

From inside came low grunts punctuated by the occasional whimper of pain. At that she began to back up, not wanting to interrupt whatever form of deviant foreplay her partner was up to now, that was definitely not something she wished to witness. No thank you! But when an agonised cry rang out followed by a muffled thud Chloe flung caution to the wind, launching herself into the room, hand straying to her sidearm. What lay before her halted her in her tracks.

Her eyes darted around the room, taking in the scene and assessing any for danger, for an attacker, but found none. Instead there was Lucifer slumped on his knees. Ragged breath tearing from his throat as if he'd been running for miles. Or maybe more accurately, fighting for his life. Blood ran in rivulets down the pale skin of his back, soaking into his slacks before collecting in an ever-growing pool around him. What lay forlorn and abandoned behind him though, gave her reason to pause.

"Oh, my g- oh shit!" At that moment her brain malfunctioned, the dreaded blue screen of death slamming down upon her conscious mind and bringing a halt to any normal function. Yeah, probably shouldn't say the G- word. That’s a capital ‘G’ too. She glanced up at the ceiling as if to confirm that her almost slight wouldn't be punished but no rumble of thunder came, no flash of righteous lightning tearing apart the sky. As if she'd never taken the lord's name in vain before. She returned her gaze to the appendages that lay behind her partner. Feathered appendages. Wings. They truly were magnificent, the wings of an angel. Their divinity softly glowing, unmarred even by the crimson slowly staining the pristine white feathers.

She took a step forward. Entranced. The divinity calling to her, beckoning her to come forth. To bask in its healing glow. She raised her hand, taking another faltering step, when her foot came down in the blood. Splashing, squelching. Lucifer's blood, her friend. He was hurt, and bad. That singular thought was enough to snap her from the compulsion of the wings and she rushed over to crouch before Lucifer.

His eyes stared dully ahead, fixed on an unknown point in the distance only he could see. There was none of their usual spark. They were almost dead, lifeless.

Chloe cast her gaze over the rest of his torso, checking for any other injuries but finding none. Something in his hand however drew her up short. A slight sliver glint. She followed its extension from Lucifer's loose grip on the handle, along the curve to the blood that still dripped from the razor edge. Maze's knife. No, it couldn’t be, Maze would never part with her precious knives and this one was bigger, longer, more suited to someone of a larger stature. Someone like Lucifer himself.

It didn't take being a detective to quickly put two and two together. No one else in the penthouse, Lucifer holding the weapon, that means... Her breath came out in a strangled gasp, tears misting her eyes as she brought shaking hands up to cup either side of Lucifer's face, running her thumbs lightly back and forth over stylish stubble. That got her a slight reaction at least. A full body shudder.

"Oh Lucifer," she whispered, leaning her head forward to rest against his own clammy one. "What have you done?" The tears started to fall, she couldn't hold them back any longer. How much pain must he be in to be able to even think of doing this to himself, and then to actually go through with it… Chloe tried to hold them in, but she choked out a sob.

"Chloe?" The devil murmured. He blinked slowly, once, twice. His eyes refocusing to take in what was before him. The formidable Detective Decker on her knees, her hands cradling his face with a tenderness he’d never before experienced.

"Hey." She gasped out, smiling shakily through her tears. She felt Lucifer's brows furrowing in confusion from where she still rested against him. He haltingly brought up a hand and cupped her cheek, thumb reaching out to wipe away the stream of tears.

"Why're you crying?" The question fell softly from his lips as he caressed her face.

Her azure eyes locked onto his own, "Why did you do it?"

He shook his head, apparently not understanding so she asked again, "Why did you cut them off?"

Lucifer flinched as though he'd been struck rather than posed a simple question. He drew a deep, faltering breath, "They're a curse, not a gift. No matter what He thinks." Came the mumbled reply.

His face crumpled in despair, breath hitching, "Why can't he just let me be?"

"Hey," Chloe soothed, "It's alright. We'll figure it out, like we always do, okay? Whatever it takes, and I'll be right here with you, every step of the way."

The devil raised his head, pulling away slightly from the detective kneeling before him. "Why are you still here?”

Now it was Chloe’s turn to look confused, and apparently it was evident enough that Lucifer reworded his question without further prompt. “How are you not terrified of me?”

Chloe shook her head, a watery smile gracing her features. "I’m not scared of you. And I never will be. I know who you are," she lay her palm over his chest, "In here. You're a good man, Lucifer. You've always stuck by me, now it's my turn."

Lucifer's hitching breaths grew shorter, his eyes blinking more frequently as he tried to hold back the overwhelming tide of emotions threatening to drag him down and drown him beneath the waves.

Chloe threaded her fingers up through his curling hair and pulled him into her. "It's okay, I'm here. You can let go.”

The devil fell into her embrace his arms coming up to wrap around her middle as he clung to her in desperation, strangled sobs wracking his frame. 

Chloe rested a cheek atop his head, her hands carding through his raven hair providing whatever comfort she could. She turned her head slightly, laying a soft kiss on his temple, "It's alright," she repeated, "Everything will be okay. We’ll get through it together, I promise.”


End file.
